All Locked Up

I have a very good friend that is jammed up. His plight is constantly on my mine. His plight is my plight, it's all our plights. After establishing a relationship with Christ he took his eyes off the Cross for a moment and destruction set in. He forgot that the adversary is in lock-step with us as we go through this world. The only thing that protects us from the ravaging beast that stalks us, looking for opportunity to devour us is our relationship with Christ. My friend knew this and chose to wander off on his own. Now the repercussions of his choices have come to fruition. So, how does this Glorify God? I thought all things were for His Glory. How does the potential incarceration for this man's actions in the past glorify God?

This is the conversation that he and I had recently. After it was finished I realized the answer was still on my lips.

The backstory. My friend like myself had been a drug addict since our early teenage years. Unlike myself, his folks enabled his addiction for the following decade. He was never, ever held accountable for the associated breech in morals and values that are always present with addiction. He also never had severe legal punishment even though he was arrested and convicted for several drug related crimes. No jail time, no problem. Probation on top of probation. His addiction put him through multiple rehabs to no true benefit. Sober up, strengthen up and do it all over again. Until the day Jesus dialed in the "secret combination" that only He knows. I like to explain the way I see Christ positioning us at diff rent times throughout our lives as Him "dialing in our secret combination." I believe that Christ allows life to happen and in the course of the life we are given there are multiple moments when the confluence of event and time come together that position us to clearly be able to choose Christs' gift of redemption.The operative word here is choose. He never forces anything on us. You can't force anyone to love you and Jesus won't force you either. I believe also that as time goes on and we ignore or refuse to acknowledge this invitation from Christ that the circumstances and settings of these moments increase in their severity. What may begin as a gentle tug at our heart strings in childhood my end up a full blown life altering crisis in our adulthood. We as a people are hard-headed. We often need a kick in the head to get our attention. Back in May of 2006 my friend got kicked in the head by Jesus.

There are rehabs and there is Rehab. One is ran by businesses, the others business is helping people establish or re-establish a relationship with Jesus. That's where I met my friend. I had been saved from death by Christ and my friend showed up two weeks later. He like I was out of options, out of fight and out of time. It seemed to he and I that Christ had dialed the combination one last time. He had cried for mercy and had received Grace. For nine months he learned how to live with relationship with Christ. he learned that the secret to success is relationship, accountability, transparency, predictability and purpose. He learned that, if to be whole and healed was what he wanted then acknowledgement of Christs' sacrifice and desire to follow Him was the only way. He did well and after he left the Rehab he even looked good doing it. As in everything of this world, looks can be deceiving. Somewhere along the way my friend says he made just the slightest of "course correction."
A course correction is where you make the slightest adjustment in your direction and in doing so you end up way off course. My friend says that's what happened. He never specified if he first stopped praying or reading his Bible. He didn't go into detail as whether he started missing Church services or perhaps started a relationship that wasn't as wholesome as it should have been. Either way he ended up in a moment of crisis and in that very second he reached behind him for an old familiar solution instead of ahead of him for the Cross. He will tell you that he could have reached out to a pastor or a trusted friend at that moment and divulged the truth. The burden that he had strayed from his path of righteousness and was stumbling and falling. Instead he got high. He started retreating into that dark familiar isolation of guilt that's dressed up like relief. He walked and then ran away from God, the Church and his friends. The longer this went on the more helpless and powerless he felt. He will tell you he felt so ashamed and irredeemable. He was so wrong. That man was only one prayer, one statement of honest sorrow away from forgiveness from both Christ the Savior and Redeemer and all that know him and Him. Now here's the rub.

My friend did reach out. He cried out to Jesus to forgive him. Jesus did. He cried for his friends to forgive his behavior and for our prayers. We did. He re-established a relationship with Christ and the Church that he had ran from. He became accountable and predictable and transparent. He is dependable. He has given his heart to Christ and serves others today.

He goes on trial at the end of next month. he has been charged as a "habitual offender."
You see, during his run from Christ he made a stupid choice. He didn't hurt anyone but himself. He didn't steal or rob anyone. He just broke a rule that because of his past infractions he was not allowed to do. In just a moment of drug seeking indiscretion my friend made a really bad mistake that could cost him up to twelve years in prison for a "victimless crime." needless to say he is freaked totally out. Who wouldn't be. He you are, been through the school of hard knocks and stupid mistakes, only to have found the truth of the ages, Jesus. Then you take your eyes off the cross and you may end up in prison for a decade? I mean really? Is that fair? Can't you just play the system, hire a good attorney?
Make this charge just go away? That's the point. He has officially worked his way into a situation that he ain't running. Jesus has again dialed that combination in. This is no longer about attorneys and crime. It has little to do with judges and justice. This is utterly and completely designed to drive you to your knees and put you on your face in the presence of the Cross. This is when it ain't about you but becomes only about your source. This is the desperation that decrees Jesus. This is the world worst that drives us to Christs' best. This blog, this message is no longer about my friend. It is about all of us. It is about the broken marriage, the lost child, the addicted husband, sister or spouse. The cancer in your body or the end of your world as you've known it. This is about Jesus and our need to know Him. We can choose to recognise when the combination for us has been dialed. The invitation to know Him is presented in the moment of desperation. We can choose to have and maintain relationship with Him. We can anticipate and avoid the sorrows of my friend if we will only learn from him. When you recognise the moment is on you to choose to accept Christ (and you do, you always know when He is knocking on the door) do it. Take that step. In your guts you know it to be true. don't hesitate. If you've know that relationship and you've strayed no matter how far off course, stop now. Get on your knees and close the gap between you and Jesus with just one statement. God forgive me. Stop relying on yourself. Recognise that your situation just got unmanageable. You want a way out of your mess? Know this, Jesus is spinning the lock on your heart right now. What are you gonna do about it?

Today my friend has resigned himself to the fact that the only way to navigate what is to come is to be in relationship with Christ. He has resigned himself to letting Jesus deal with what is to come. This is faith. Please pray for and with my friend.

What's The Point?

I have just finished leading the first ten-week class in Disipleship at The Union Rescue Mission's Men's Recovery Center. Actually, this past ten weeks have only been the past ten that I have lead the class. This class has been going on for a long, long time. Three years ago, when I was resident at the Mission, Pastor Maynard taught the class. Some how during this past three years I have been groomed to take Maynards place as he has moved on to teach an after graduation program here at the Mission. Knowing who I was and all that I had done, how could it be that I was blessed with the opportunity to lead this class? I mean really, what's the point? How could I even begin to be useful in this capacity?

I was initally overwhelmed and thoroughly intimidated when Maynard asked me to start teaching this class. We had been using the Max Lucado workbook, "Experincing The Heart Of Jesus." We would continue to use this text as an anchor in the class. This workbook is designed to further draw the student into understanding and relationship with Christ. I also felt that there was a need for another forum. One that addressed current needs and situations we find ourselves in after we leave the Mission. My inital thought was what would be the things I would impart to a loved one if all I had was ten hours left on earth. What would I deem the most important information for their ability to maintain a relationship with Christ and empower them to navigate and endure the forces that this world is gonna throw at them. I started brainstorming and came up with ten subject headings. they were broad and somewhat vague. in the back of my mind I still felt overwhelmed and was beginimg to become convinced that I was not the man for this job. I mean really, how could God possibly use me? What's the point?



I was working on the third floor of the Church one day and thinking about the "ten truths" that I was trying to develope for the upcoming class. I walked by an often ignored framed print on the wall. It was a print that we often refer to in conversation and use to justify our behaviors. The Ten Commandments. How fitting. Here am running around looking for ten truths and THE TEN TRUTHS are right there all the time. It was one of those ah ha moments. I read the Commandments and it all came together.



I. I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt have no other Gods before me.



Life Application- Relationship of Humble Service. Time to end your selfish, fronting hustle and start serving others.



II. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.



Life Application- Get Over Yourself. You were your favorite graven image.

III. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

Life Application-You Must Have Daily Maintanence With God. Relationship, Relationship, Relationship.

IV. Remember the Sabbath Day and keep it holy

Life Application-Obedience To Authority-Live By Example

V. Honor thy father andthy mother

Life Application-Justice, accepting the rules and justice of God and the authorites over you.

VI. Thou shalt not kill.

Life Application-Grace, give it before you get it from others. Grace under condemnation

VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery

Life Application-Temptation, how to deal with it, it's coming.

VIII. Thou shalt not steal

Life application-Transparent living- open book attitude. Keys to accountability.

IX. Thou shalt not bare false witness against thy neighbor.

Life Application-Faithful in the moment. moment to moment

X. Thou shalt not covet. Period.

Life Application-Satisfaction and Contentment. How to recognize it and how to keep it.


These are the things that I was given. These are the lessons that are being developed for use at the Mission. So, what's the point?

The point is that God uses who He wants how and when He wants. We who have relationship with Jesus are at His service. We place ourselves into the service position when we submit ourselves to Him. We are invited to surrender ourselves unto Jesus. We really don't understand how badly we need Christ until Christ is all that we have. When we do so we then can be actively use by Him for His purpose and His glorification. The point of being called by and in service of Christ is that we glorify him. I guarentee you that there are folks out there that know how I used to be. The broken, lost, hopeless, violent, addicted sinner. They would not recognize me or my heart today. My wife would be one of the first to stand and tell you the radical transformation that my relationship with Christ has had in my life. He uses me. I am malleable to His touch. He is The Potter............

What We Are Made Of

The kids are back. Its is so good to have them back. In my earlier posts I commented on learning from them. I also commented on myself. If you don't know me, I used to be alot of things. I am an average guy from an average childhood from above average parents. My folks taught me everything I needed to know to be successful in life. The problem was I did not apply it in a fashion that led to success. I did most of life the hard way. My way. I like to tell folks that sure, I knew Jesus. I knew Him well enough to run from the responsiblity of the way we are to be. I knew the right way but the farther that life took me away from the right way the more impossible it seemed to just get back to the starting line. You know, that place where you even feel like you can ask God to help you. I have learned that we cannot clean ourselves up, work our way back and sober up so we can be presentable to God. When it sucks the worst is when we need Him the most. The most frightening thing I have discovered about my life is that the "sucking" part was disguised as a normal way of being. my life was broken from the start and I didn't even know it.

I gained an immeasurable amount of wisdom because Christ let me survive in brokeness long enough to find Him. Brokeness relieved by relationship with Christ is loss turned into wisdom. When we survive life long enough to develope a relationship with the Creator of the Universe we have some seriously valuable information that is designed to be shared with others. It is not for us to hide our life experiences but to share them with others in the glorious hope of introducing others to Christ. I have some things to share with you.

Yesterday my 11 year old boy told me he wanted the Amazing Grace DVD by Louis Giglio. I told him that I'd never heard of it until last Wednesday when I was leaving The Union Resuce Mission where I teach the Men's Recovery Center's Discipleship Class. We spend ten Wednesdays in the last three months of their nine month drug rehab studying Max Kucado's workbook, Discovering The Heart Of Jesus. I Also have developed ten life applications that are patterned off the Ten Commandments designed to better prepare these men to re-enter society and maintain their relationship with Jesus and not fall prey to relapse. As we were leaving our last class on 'Wednesday, several men came in and said they were going to watch the Amazing Grace video. When my son mentioned it to me yesterday I knews there was no coincidence, we went and purchased it together. Last night, he, his Mom and I watched it togather. To sum it up, it was great. We were all crying because of the Magesty of God and the way the Holy Ghost moved in us as we heard the Truth.

I found it even more touching because the lesson we had at the Mission this past Wedneday mirrored the Amazing Grace video. The kind of thing that gives you the chill bumps. I was the lost man once. I was the wore out, broken, hopeless drug addict that found refuge and healing at the Mission. I was Godless and desperate and Jesus was waiting for me there. Now I am honored to help these men find the purpose and joy available through relationship with Christ that the Mission provided for me.

We had covered the Tenth Commandment last Wednesday, "Thou Shalt not Covet." The life application was "Living with satisfaction and contentment." We discussed at length the nature of covetousness and how to recognise the relationship you have had with Jesus for almost nine months now.
We often forget that our relationship is a confidence builder. We forget that all conversations directed to Jesus, to others about Jesus, our private thoughts and contemplations regarding Jesus are all prayer. These are the elements of relationship with God. These are the acts that define Paul's statement to "pray without ceasing."
These are some elements of the conversation I had with the men this past Wednesday. Then we got to the place in conversation where the Holy Spirit takes over the direction of conversation and it became evident that these guys didn't understand that the "thing" in Jesus Christ was the same exact "thing" that is in them and me and you, in all of us that know Jesus as our Savior. The God of Creation put Himself in Jesus. The essence of God is in the identity of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit was and is in Jesus and is in us today. We are tied and linked to Jesus by the very DNA of God Himself. That is why the Bible says we are heirs, even joint heirs with Christ. The Bible calls us Royalty. We are thusly called because we have been grafted into Gods family. We are called His children. We are bought and paid for by the blood sacrifice of Christ. Wholly owned and tenderly kept by this same universe building star breather that Luis Giglio describes in his DVD. If you are feeling low useless take heart. If you are broken and lost realize now that you are one change of heart, one sentence of desperation, one exclamation of surrender from falling into the open arms of the Christ that hung the heavens with His voice and gave His life for you. You are one moment from the need that screams at your insides in the darkest and most quiet of moments. In your DNA is the truth. The knowledge of this truth is caked and coated with the scabs and refuse of this world. The lost, broken, desperate life that you live is what melts this barrier from your Truth. When you feel that "thing" in your guts screaming at you for help. Thats the moment to cry out to Jesus. He will be there. You already know what this means cause most likely you've done it a time or two. If you want help in figuring out how to navigate this experience, please post a responce to this blog. I live to help you. Jesus did this for me. He wants to do it for you too. Thank you and God bless you.

The KidsAre Home

the kids came home yesterday from their Dad's out in Utah. This was their first solo flight and had originated in Las Vegas. They came into Little Rock at 3:30 pm and was jubilent when we saw them. We brought Mattie's best freind Savannagh with us. It was so good to have them home. It was even better to see their mothers face light up and her shoulders raise as the burden of their being gone was relieved.

Perhaps the coolest moment was when Mattie and Will, both, let us know they wanted to go directly to Church. Wednesday, first day back from traveling the U.S. and they want to go to Church. I am in awe of these kid's. In relationship with them it seems I learn the most important lessons.

My First Time As A Blogger

There is a saying where I have been, "If you want something you've never had, you gotta do something you've never done." I plan to blog about how I have ended up where I am and with blessed hope, to help others with my stories and observations. It has been a most remarkable journey that has roots in rural Arkansas, traveling the world, thinking I had a normal life until things went wrong. Broken neck, paralysis, electric wheelchairs, Hepatitis C,Liver Cancer,death of children, destroyed marriages. Lifelong drug addiction, further addiction to prescription pain medications, maintaining and hiding addiction, suffering and being healed from depression and hopelessness, paralysis, cancer and addiction. I have lost everything as defined by this world and gained everything that is so contrary to this worlds definitions. I found after decades of this destructive lifestyle and finally loosing everything and everyone that I had ever known, that the most important life lesson I have ever learned became so evident and applicable to me. YOU NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH YOU NEED CHRIST UNTIL CHRIST IS ALL THAT YOU HAVE. When people tell one of those heart wrenching stories of utter brokenness culminating in hope and rescue by Christ, that is my story. All those Bible stories of the worst of the worst whose very essence is transformed because of the power of the presence of Jesus in their lives, that is my story. This is not embellished, contrived or uncommon. It is just the standard operating practice of the Architect of the Universe whose supernatural interventions are spreading through the world today. This is just one story of His love and nature. This is what He does. It is what He can and will do for you, too.