First Things First

Earlier this morning I was setting in my chair. Beside my bookcase. Lots of books, file folders. memorabilia. The bookshelves contents were 99.2% Christian oriented items. Bibles, commentaries, dictionaries. Cute figurines with nice bible verses on them. The .8% left over goes to the weighty ball chromed out skull.It came on my cane. That's another story. A couple of years ago I went to several Narcotics Anonymous meetings in town. I really tried to hang with the message and the people. I kept looking for hope and the affirmation that Christ makes us successful in what he planned for us If we follow him. I got the vibe that it wasn't gonna happen around a lot of pissed off folks.. These were angry people. Whole lot of despair, anger, no victories. One night before I left the meeting I purchased a book. This morning I opened that book. On the inside cover of the book I had written several years ago, disheartened by not fitting in at those meetings. Hurting, angry and anxious. I wrote:

1. I am not God. Stop trying to act like it

2. I am unable to become the person he intended me to be without first, knowing and believing in

#1. Secondly I must shut up and listen for my Lords whisper that comforts me.

3. I must constantly be aware that because of the brokenness of and choices I have made I must

live a life in which my God's Grace is sufficient in all things. My choices will determine my

eternity. Jesus is with me.

4. The moment that I feel the "satisfaction", "pride" or an "anonymous victory" in my recovery,

my ability to effectively help another is lost Got to get that outta me o me.I have to

#1, #2, #3, and #4. Hit my knees on the floor. Pray and cry and groan. Submit

SUBMIT

myself as a willing and humbled sacrifice excited of the prospect of God's will coarsing

in me as I get to serve God Himself. I need "humbilization" before I go forward.

It was designed by God to be about the thems. It is ALL about Jesus. It is not about me. It is

all about being God's child. When I read the Bible there ain't nothing better.

5. Hardest part is to remain teachable. Its hard to admit shortcomings, inabilities and weakness.

Be humble. Live weak. I know where my strength comes from.

6. There is no coincidence I survived to live this day. God's Grace got me here. Don't waist it.

Confessions Of What Is Real

This has been happening to me for along time and I am in pain. I come around the corner the other day and run up on Jesus. He had been a long time coming and His timing is Perfect. I owe everything to the Grace and Salvation of my Master, Wise Council, King. All that is Is You. I want to throw myself at your feet and worship and adore you Jesus. I crave to be in your presence, where I feel You best. I have been in a cursed life bound for hell. Then I met the Truth. The moment I met God, in my life I knew He is the Only Truth. My Christ. My King.

WHAT IT IS WE KNOW THAT IS TRUE ABOUT OUR KING, OUR CHRIST, MAN OF SUFFERING. MY SAVIOR IS REAL. ALWAYS BEEN. ALWAYS BE. MY KING. I KNOW IT IN MY GUTS. THAT'S ALSO WHY YOU DO NOT FEEL IT THEIR WHEN IT IS NOT.

If anyone hasn't told you, When you choose Christ as Lord and Savior, that's not the end. That's the beginning.

I want to record the things that are happening in my life. I want to in any way leave a record of Christ in my life. My personal Jesus. Savior. Truth. Answer.

Before I get started on that I have a friend and his wife from our church that are troubled on my heart. A couple weeks ago in Sunday School I find that he is stricken with a rare and inoperable brain cancer. All my Sunday School members were making these cute get well and hope you feel better cards. I asked what they were doing and I learned about my friends illness. I felt horrible for just not knowing. I just couldn't bring myself to make this card. I just couldn't. This morning, here in the middle of all the crazy stuff going on around my life I feel inspired to write them a note. " I will leave their names absent in respect". I rote their names and said, "What can I say? Ain't no word's is there? You know how to go through this. You gotta love Him and you gotta love him. You have to grow closer and wiser during this time. I know it sounds counter-intuitive but now is the time to grow. Alot of it. You don't want what's happening to yall but you cannot be successful without it.

You know it ain't ever crazy doing what God's got us to tend to, even when it does seem that way.

Only secret I know of is Praise God. Praise Him. Worship him. Cry to Him and yell at Him and let yourself be exhausted of your efforts at the feet of Jesus and in His time He shall turn your tragedies into His victories. Y'all in a win/win situation. Y'all can do this. It makes us who we will be. These are your moments to be as you are so you can become who you shall be.

Sometimes I find it fascinating can't take it all in. BUT I KNOW IT. IT'S ALL TRUE. IT'S ALL REAL. EVERYTHING THE BIBLE SAYS IS THE TRUTH. AIN'T GONNA BE BUT ONE WAY AND THAT'S HIS WAY. That Truth is your comfort. That Truth's all it takes. That Truth's all there is.

Your in a fight your scarce readied for but you know how to fight and you know who has the Victory. I love you guys so much, you make me grow.