First Things First

Earlier this morning I was setting in my chair. Beside my bookcase. Lots of books, file folders. memorabilia. The bookshelves contents were 99.2% Christian oriented items. Bibles, commentaries, dictionaries. Cute figurines with nice bible verses on them. The .8% left over goes to the weighty ball chromed out skull.It came on my cane. That's another story. A couple of years ago I went to several Narcotics Anonymous meetings in town. I really tried to hang with the message and the people. I kept looking for hope and the affirmation that Christ makes us successful in what he planned for us If we follow him. I got the vibe that it wasn't gonna happen around a lot of pissed off folks.. These were angry people. Whole lot of despair, anger, no victories. One night before I left the meeting I purchased a book. This morning I opened that book. On the inside cover of the book I had written several years ago, disheartened by not fitting in at those meetings. Hurting, angry and anxious. I wrote:

1. I am not God. Stop trying to act like it

2. I am unable to become the person he intended me to be without first, knowing and believing in

#1. Secondly I must shut up and listen for my Lords whisper that comforts me.

3. I must constantly be aware that because of the brokenness of and choices I have made I must

live a life in which my God's Grace is sufficient in all things. My choices will determine my

eternity. Jesus is with me.

4. The moment that I feel the "satisfaction", "pride" or an "anonymous victory" in my recovery,

my ability to effectively help another is lost Got to get that outta me o me.I have to

#1, #2, #3, and #4. Hit my knees on the floor. Pray and cry and groan. Submit

SUBMIT

myself as a willing and humbled sacrifice excited of the prospect of God's will coarsing

in me as I get to serve God Himself. I need "humbilization" before I go forward.

It was designed by God to be about the thems. It is ALL about Jesus. It is not about me. It is

all about being God's child. When I read the Bible there ain't nothing better.

5. Hardest part is to remain teachable. Its hard to admit shortcomings, inabilities and weakness.

Be humble. Live weak. I know where my strength comes from.

6. There is no coincidence I survived to live this day. God's Grace got me here. Don't waist it.