Out of Darkness Into The Right

I have a friend. He is a really good guy except for his flaws that have developed over the years and now have come to to destroy his family, estrange his wife and children, place doubt in the hearts of the fence setters and generally follow the patteren of brokeness that either destroys our souls or perhaps even worse, obliterates our witness. Of course of all these things are of harm and despair, the truth is they are the product of sin and the darkness that accompanies the Dark One. This is where we meet Jesus. I have found in my life and through the lives of others that often to see the light you gotta be in a dark place. My friend has found his dark place and by God's mercy and grace he is also seeing the light of Christ as he begins a life long relationship with Jesus.

When I had spent a couple years with the Lord I finally understood. Either I am with Him or I am against Him. A few are called and without hesitation devote their moment to monent life to sharing the Gospel, loving the unloved and truley impacting all people that every soul matters to God.

I come in contact with alot of addicts that want to be former addicts. I know several friends that have walked with Christ on Sunday and drunk on Mondays. Ridicule is punching their ticket for the last train bound to hell. These created beings, our brothers, the most dynamic creation of Gods that we are aware of, envied by Fallen Angels (Demons) and hated by Satan. Who the Bible says seeks only to kill, steal, and destroy us. Why are we so terrifying to Satan that he and his minion joint purpose is to destroy the witness/ testimony of us Christ followers. Satan figured he can't sway us so he will compromise our witness. In doing so our testimony is impotent and words are feeble like an old womans command.

Whomever might read this in the future will think, : why that fella was a nut. flower carring, bald, robe wearing tree hugger. You know with media as it is today and so many diffrent methods of worshiping Christ. Traditions vary church to church, denomination, to denomination. The most ice breaking, hive soothing moment came for me early on at First Assembly NLR. I was given a word from God. I know, scares most folks, they cut and run. The smart ones look it up in the Bible. The uncomfortable spirit I had my first few services there added to the overwhelmed feeling of being like a little bitty fish on a great big hook. Then God removed the scales from my eyes as I entered in the sactuary for the third time and I knew. All these "holy rollin" folks and me came from the same DNA. We all was cut out to serve God and our brothers. NOT LESS THAN THAT, EVER. I was no longer intimidated by being in the presnce of the other people. Those folks, everyone of them, were hellbound at one moment in their lives and in the next they had a responsibility we hardly wrap our minds around.

My life never had purpose or value until the day I was finally empty of any purpose good or bad and my life was filled with a quickening and an unquestionable knowledge that ALL about our Christ is true. My regret is I waisted so much life and health and time, leading folks astray that I pray for the honor to serve God in His desired fashion. The words from God, "good job loving me" is all that I desire. I have come to know that in this place we live, there is no other calling, deportment, attitude, respect, or condition that has an all encompassing cure. !00% successs rate since the beginning to the end of time. It is the least risky, unnessesarily speculative gut feeling that we all have. The call of Jesus. The active and deliberate acceptance or denial of the greatest truth and honor bestoyed upon Man. To utter the word's I work, I live for you Lord. Thats the beginning of a beautiful love beween Creator and His creation.

I will go into why I think a third of the Angels and Satan hated us so badly that his pride could not allow him to worship God because, Envy, Pride and contempt filled the spirits of all that have fallen. Why, Why'd God go and make us if He knew it was just gonna be a failure? By selfless service, unconditional love, forgiveness, and it's all true whats in that ancient book called Bible. Yeah Right. But that's the perfect beauty. It is all and everything God and Jesus and the Spirit has promissed, guarenteed. Told stories of 1500 years before they happened and it all came true and is still the only truth, the only way.

I will leave this. The truth is in you. You know it is true. When God made us I think he put an ability in us to know His truth's. The bible says it is written in us. The moment in time for each of God's miracles always occurs at the exactly correct moment. Broken or not, God supplies our every need, my supernatural history with Christ is the unbreakable, unconditional love He has for me. That I can only respond with worship, adoration, praise and surrender to creater of the all. The significant reality that I and many others are Loved by God. We beat up the whole: who me? Saved< Forgiven< Innocent< Forgotten< Fertile, Hungry for Redeemption, Yearning to complete our purpose ; The Will Of God. Simple. Plain Instructions, Translated for the more Educated, Complete, without error, just one catch, Love the God who Loves You Unconditionally. Love your neighbor as yourself.

This Is Difficult

No matter how wealthy, powerful, pleased, proud and satisfied, you loose without God. We win. We have God.

How does that statement make you feel?

Every Soul Matters To God. Even his.

I was uncomfortable.

Somewhere in the Bible there's a part about being unmoved watching others never knowing Jesus. Something about not seeking to introduce the lost to Christ. Which is about the best way I can think of to worship and honor God. Service to God service to others. Service to God.

I have found that the desire to serve God does not ensure that we will be successful. I fail.
All the time. My desire is strong, the hard part for me how? I would love seeing a billboard on I-30 saying how to do it right in 30 days, 1-800-NO1Fail.

I am struggling. I am anxious, exhausted and sustained. I am in the position that I must trust Him to survive this.

I have never had elevated expectations of myself. I was and am , to a degree, still painfully shy, introverted, awkward. I had and have still low self esteem and struggle to find purpose. To know me ten years ago it would have been obvious. Today not so much. I struggle still but I have Jesus. The difference between fright, misery, and fear and knowing the Truth, Grace and Hope that relationship with Christ produces.

I've been a Christ follower for five years and a Christ "knower" since 1973. I was 12. I knew Jesus but to do all those things seemed impossible. Church was no fun. Every week i was going to hell. So I played so hard the other six days just in case I went to hell on the 7th. That's how I remember it anyways. The best part of Church was when the Preacher give that last long prayer I'd slip outta Mom, Dad and my pew and ease up to Grandma and Grandpa's. As soon as the preacher reached the front doors and said amen me and Grandpa split out the side door, get in his Doodle Bug as he called it and headed to Grandma's and his house. We was fixin to eat. This forced Mom and Papa to come too. Genius.

I have learned that the period of time between knowing the name of Jesus and following Jesus is often a long time . I wonder if there is purpose in that statistic? Is it possible that we are (for lack of a better word) numb to the extreme urgency which we are in simply because Jesus is just a word to us? To the others? How can we communicate or reveal the most real, pursuing danger, evil that seeks to destroy us that is effectively invisible to the very peoples we desire to reveal it to?

I have been trying to hang onto pride. The only way to lose my pride is to tell the truth about me. The most difficult part of faithful is in the moment. It is a battle and takes effort and I am weak. Once saw things about life a much different way than today. Today there is hope. I never knew what hope was it was till I run up on it. Never knew what to truly believe in anything until I saw the intervention of my God begin in my life and has never yet stopped. There is a seamless presence of God in my life. I believe. it is such a change from being who I was once.

I want so badly to tell to others exactly what God has done to my my life. I am not good at knowing how to do that. I mean there's the story. Its a long one. I told you God showed up in my poor, broken existence and He changed my world. Its the best story in the world to me cause its how I surrendered to Christ. Surrender daily is the key. Gotta have a gonna serve Christ attitude and God does the rest, guaranteed.

The Bible promises in Psalms 34:18 The lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. As for myself, that pretty much sums me up. The deeper I look in me the greater the need for Jesus. Then I find it harder to serve Him because of me. It seemed as at the very moment I began a life with Christ. It ain't like it was. Life has become a montage of obstacles, traps. snares, pitfalls, distractions, temptations and shinny things. It really is hard to see a great volume of of the presence and reverence to Christ when I stand and look around. Here there's the Slick and Polished for me. If I am committed to follow Christ, and I am struggling and the Bible tells us plainly that we should have expected it, read the Book. I figure most others are also.

Lord I feel pressured, inadequate and fearful. I need your help dealing with everything that has come against me. I know your word says I am . I love you. I worship you. My only desire is to serve you. I need that strength of Jesus today. I need your presence and peace.